The Fine Art of Listening. Marriage is one of the most important steps that a man makes in life. If until recently, marriage meant only the strategic union of assets or social situations, being a simple agreement between families, now, the times and practices regarding marriage have changed. Not that these marriages of convenience are not taking place anymore, but that number has decreased greatly over the past. Many of the social barriers were raised, people are free to marry freely, and the decision is based solely on feelings towards the partner.

         But even so, today marriage is facing serious problems, most of these covenants being broken by divorce. Specialists in couple relationships and family life point their fingers showing the lack of communication in a relationship. So the only conclusion you can draw is that other than the feelings of love which normally must unite a couple, especially a married couple, there also should be a good communication between partners. What could be more depressing than two married people that can not communicate? Many couples were caught in the net of ineffective communication habits, which persists for so long that the two believe that there is no hope and no possibility of change.

          Being able to listen to your interlocutor is an art that quite a few possess. Among the most common failures in listening is the interruption of your interlocutor. It is usually most unbearable in terms of listening. Those accustomed to interrupt, spend time not listening to what they are told, but instead, they create their own response. Being interested only in their ideas, they do not give too much attention to the words of others; they only wait for a propitious moment when to intervene with a "Oh, this is nothing, let me tell you what happened to me! " This gesture denotes through excellence an ill-breeding and a partner dis-consideration . When someone interrupts, he steps over people's ideas and this is just as rude, and sometimes , as painful as if you'd step over that person itself.

It is equally important to look at your partner, even in the eye. Listeners who do not look at the person who speaks to them, express carelessness, lack of confidence and concern through this attitude. If you look at your interlocutor while talking to you, it will make him feel good, like he really talks to someone that listens and cares. Bad habits persist because we weren't trained in the direction of listening. Listening is the most neglected and least understood part of all communication arts. 

         Listening does not imply a perceptual academic title, but involves training.

Among the actions and gestures which can be annoying in terms of our way of listening, include: walking back and forth as if he had lost his patience or wants to leave; the habit of contradicting you even before you have stated your point of view; trying to provide what you mean and to complete your phrases as he suspects they would; the habit of asking you a question which you have just answered, which makes you feel that you're wasting his time; to reformulate what you said before, as if it was someone else putting words in your mouth; anything you say it reminds him of another story or something that he just heard; the habit of staying too close to the speaker; lack of facial expressions.

        Effective listening may be more difficult than many think. It is infinitely easier to be a good speaker, orator, exposed to your feelings and experience in a pleasant manner. You only need to have little talent for the use of words and information that you send. Listening is a serious job as it involves more than just hearing of the voice. It involves discernment in receiving a non-verbal message, interest, eye contact, searching for deeper reasons, the appropriate questions, giving answers of adequate nature and sometimes the wisdom to keep silent. People who can reach this performance of being good listeners will receive the reward. They will enjoy a deep and honest appreciation from the speakers, since if you can listen to a person, you also can give a good advice; however, they will thank you even if they do not receive such advice. We all know that we feel much better when we have something on our soul and we can share our pain or trouble with someone. Immediately, we feel a little better, and if we receive a good advice as well, our apreciation will not have limits.

         Most of us speak between 100 and 150 words per minute. Some speak more slowly, with an average of only 80-90 words per minute, while others speak more quickly, reaching up to 170 words per minute. Our ability to listen allows us to receive between 450 and 600 words per minute. This means that you can think five times faster than you talk.